


Blinded by Your Own Light

by Lazchan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-11-22 17:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11384859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazchan/pseuds/Lazchan
Summary: Yuri wants to know why Yuuri avoids him and Viktor thinks there is a lot unsaid that Yuuri needs to realize.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey old man,” Viktor looked up when Yuri stepped in front of him, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. “Why the hell is katsudon avoiding me?”

 

“Hmm?” Viktor’s face couldn’t hide his surprise at the question and he looked off to where Yuuri was practicing a series of crossovers, his whole body giving into the moment, eyes closed as he concentrated on each glide of his blades. “Yuuri doesn’t avoid you, why would you think that?”

 

Yuri snorted as he shoved his finger at Viktor’s chest. “Yeah, he does,” he snapped. “He talks with Georgi and Mila and _of course_ he talks to you, but when he sees me, he avoids all eye contact and hardly watches me skate, except when he thinks I’m not looking. What the hell, Viktor?”

 

He hardly wanted to admit that it bothered him a little; Yuuri had always been friendly and tried to reach out, even when Yuri snapped at him. But ever since he came to Russia, he seemed to go out of his way to be out of Yuri’s way, even when they had skating practice at the same time.

 

For once, Viktor paid attention to him and his eyes were focused ahead, instead of at Yuuri, who already had Yakov giving him advice at the moment. “Hmm, well-- if you think he’s avoiding you, then maybe it’s for a reason.” He gave him a faint smile. “Have you ever tried having a conversation with Yuuri without insulting him in some way?”

 

“I... I don’t know what you mean,” Yuri huffed and turned away, the tips of his ears red. “I’ve always insulted him before and he’s never acted so weird before.”

 

Viktor laughed a little and ruffled his hair, dodging out of the way of the punch Yuri aimed toward him. “I’ll talk to Yuri, but you’re probably just imagining things. I know that he wants to be friends. Maybe you have to make the first move?”

 

Yuri scowled deeper at that, but gave a grudging nod. Yuuri wasn’t exactly observant in anything he did, so maybe Viktor was right.

 

~

 

“You know, Yura doesn’t think that you like him at all,” Viktor said absently, helping Yuuri with his cool-down stretches. Yuuri froze beneath his hands and he didn’t move his head to look up at Viktor as he answered.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yuuri’s voice was calm and measured, no emotion leaking into the words. “You know that I think Yuri is a fantastic skater. He’s a little rough around the edges, but…” he shrugged and kept his face turned away.

 

“He was very put out that you don’t seem to notice him, but you talk and give advice to Mila and Georgi,” Viktor continued. He was watching him as subtly as possible. “He even seemed to get jealous of _me_ ,” he teased.

 

Yuuri snorted at that, but Viktor caught the hint of a smile. “Well, I’ve been your fan for a long time,” he said lightly, “so I have to give you most of my attention. And where would I be if I didn’t watch my coach?”

 

“You mean, you’ll listen next time I tell you when you’re needing to cut back on certain elements?” Viktor ran the tips of his fingers down Yuuri’s neck, partly to watch him shiver and to try and get him to look up. “But you know, Yuri’s your fan, too.”

 

That got Yuuri looking up at him, a look of complete disbelief on his face. “You have to be joking,” he said flatly, reaching for his glasses so that he could face Viktor without squinting. “He doesn’t even watch me skate and every time I see him doing it, he lectures me about my shortcomings. Not that he’s not observant, but…” he shrugged.

 

“Yuuri, did you know how I knew you were my fan, even before I met you?” he asked, rubbing along Yuuri’s back to get him to relax. “Even before the banquet and the video and me chasing _you_ all the way to Japan?”

 

Yuuri flushed a deeper red at that. “Everyone’s your fan, Viktor,” he said gently. “It wasn’t that great of a leap to make.”

 

“Hear me out, Yuuri,” Viktor chided. “I do have a point. Now the reason why I knew you were my fan, was because of how you skated. I saw echoes of my skating in yours and before you protest, it isn’t a bad thing at all. People knew I was a fan of Stephane for the same reason.”

 

“You mean, it wasn’t just the gold blades?” Yuuri smirked. He had teased Viktor relentlessly for those once he found out from Yakov about a young Viktor begging to be just like Stephane with the ‘most astounding blades’ out there.

 

“No, it wasn’t just the skates,” Viktor pouted. “It was the skating itself; I admired and still do admire Stephane and my skating reflected pieces of his routines, his style; even if I developed my own, the echoes of it still remain. Do you see where I am going with this, Yuuri?”

 

“I…I’d like to think so, but what you’re suggesting is impossible,” Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck and Viktor pulled him in closer. “Yuri has snapped at me enough times about my free leg and jumps and style that there’s no way that there is anything of mine in him. He’d have to like me for that to even happen.”

 

Viktor just raised an eyebrow at him. “You forget how much I watch you and know you, Yuuri and I am not lying when I say what I see in him. He admires your skating and there are bits of it in his skating.”

 

“I’ve noticed _your_ influence, but you also did his choreography and you’re his rinkmate. I’m just…” Yuuri’s shoulders hunched a little. “I’m sometimes I’m afraid I’ll just be that person he found crying in the bathroom after Sochi, even if I know I’m not. I just—“ he shrugged and his smile was pained. “It’s hard to explain.”

 

Viktor lay a gentle hand on his, kissing his cheek. “You just want to be able to reach out to Yuri and have him reach back,” he said softly. “There’s no shame in wanting to be friends, Yuuri. Yuri has far too few people he considers his friends. He’s… he’s like all of us at this level, I suppose.” For a moment, his expression dropped and he looked far away, remembering something from his own past.

 

“He has friends, even if he doesn’t call them that,” Yuuri gave a faint smile and stood up, holding out a hand to Viktor. “Or maybe family is a better term. Yakov and Lilia look after him like parents, he has you and Georgi like older brothers and Mila as an older sister…” his voice trailed off. He still didn’t know where he even fit in with the rink and Russia and the new dynamics of his rapidly rising status in the skating world. Trying to figure out if Yuri Plisetsky considered him even something like a _rival_ should have been low on the list.

 

Still---it mattered to him.

 

“You know, if Yuri is getting all puffed up like an angry cat, it should tell you something.” Viktor kept his arms around Yuuri, not holding him too tight, but giving him a measure of comfort. “I can’t say you’re friends yet; I haven’t asked Yuri and I don’t want my hand bitten off if I try and pry into what he feels, but—“ he tilted Yuuri’s chin up. “You won’t find out if you don’t reach out.”

 

Yuuri grimaced a little and then nodded. “I don’t know how… to do it,” he said after a moment, staring down at the floor. Yuri was prickly enough as it was and Yuuri was more confident skating than he was talking to actual people, especially if those people stared up at you as if you had either personally offended or disappointed them in some form.

 

“Start with skating,” Viktor shrugged, grabbing Yuuri’s bag and leading him out of the room. “That’s the one thing you’ll always have in common. Don’t look away when he skates this time and you’ll see what I mean… and he’ll figure out that it’s just you being intimated by our fierce Russian Tiger.”

 

“Viktor!” Yuuri’s ears burned. “Don’t tell him that, I’ll never hear the end of it.” They passed by the rink, where the open skate times had started and instead of overly ambitious, driven skaters, there was a plethora of young and old skaters alike, using the entirety of the rink to simply enjoy skating.

 

“Ah, he’s a force of nature,” Viktor just laughed and pushed him along. “Don’t fret about it so much, Yuuri. I promise that just like you getting used to Russia and the rink, you’ll get more comfortable with Yuri and him with you.”

 

“I’ll take your advice,” Yuuri muttered, not talking about how it still overwhelmed him at times; that Viktor was not only his coach, but he practiced alongside him; that he was his fiancée and friend and closest confidante. That Viktor saw something beautiful and strong in him that no one else had seemed to, not even himself. He leaned up and kissed Viktor’s cheek. “You give good advice sometimes.”

 

“Only sometimes?” Viktor pressed a hand to his heart, feigning hurt. “I’ll have to try harder so that it’s more than just sometimes.”

 

Yuuri just smiled and let the confusion and worry of the moment wash behind him as they left the rink. There would be a new opportunity tomorrow to try again and be the first one to make the first step forward.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Yuri was the only one out of the ice; doing a sketch of his routine under the watchful eye of Yakov. His other rinkmates watched him as well, even if Mila was chatting with Georgi and barely paying attention to what Yuri was doing. Yuuri was probably watching the most intently, a little tense when Yuri’s glance slid his way and the narrowed eyes and fierce look that seemed to bite right through him. Viktor squeezed his arm and gave him an encouraging smile. Yuuri wasn’t bothered by the glare, but more of not wanting to bother Yuri in his home rink. 

 

_ It’s your rink too, now, _ he told himself.  _ You can’t let a sixteen-almost-seventeen year old dictate where you are or what you do _ . It wasn’t even that; Yuuri had always been courteous of others feelings to a fault, even over-reaching and over-thinking to how he thought others reacted. It was what had caused him so much trouble at the end of the last Grand Prix, where he had assumed that Viktor would have been much happier just being in a relationship and not coaching. He had honestly thought if he had stayed out of Yuri’s way, it would go easier for the both of them. 

 

Now, though-- watching Yuri skate without the jumps that he was so good at, he  _ could _ see the echoes of his own skating there and it astounded him with each pass and spin. The looks  _ now _ were a mix between taunting and questioning, as if he was silently asking if Yuuri was seeing what Yuri was trying to do and who he was trying to emulate with his movements. It wasn’t overly obvious; Yuri had his own strikingly unique style, but if you knew what to look for, it was there. 

 

“Alright, Yura-- come off the ice and cool down.” Yuri gave a curt nod and skated towards the exit and Yuuri jumped when Yakov’s voice boomed next to him. “VITYA! Stop clinging to Katsuki and get your ass on the ice. You may have skated when you coached, but you’re out of shape for competition and cuddling that boy isn’t going to make you any better.” 

 

Viktor pouted and gave Yuuri a quick kiss before Yakov bellowed again and Viktor finally relented and skated out onto the ice. Yuuri shook his head and sighed, rubbing his forehead. He sat back against one of the benches, absent-mindedly picking up one of his skates, when the bench shook a little from the force of Yuri throwing himself onto it. 

 

“Good thing baldy is skating next, or else you probably would have run away again,” Yuri smirked at Yuuri’s startled look. “I asked Yakov to time it that way.” 

 

“I wouldn’t have run,” Yuuri muttered, picking at his laces. He might have, if it wasn’t for the lineup that day or Viktor’s hand on his arm, silently encouraging him to reach out to the prickly teenager. 

 

“No, you would have just lurked like some creeper,” Yuri snorted, deftly untying his laces and stretching out his feet. “DId you watch the entire skate this time?” His tone was overly casual, trying to pretend that he didn’t care about Yuuri’s opinion at all, but the half-hopeful look Yuuri caught in his expression belied that. 

 

“Yeah, I saw the whole thing,” Yuuri flicked his gaze over to Viktor for a moment, but nothing was happening except what seemed like an epic lecture in the making. “You were focusing more on your step sequences this time, even with the spots that I saw you marked for jumps.” He carefully slid on a skate, pausing over the laces. “You’ve really improved them.” He kept his voice controlled as he could make it, hoping he didn’t either sound patronizing or too eager. If Yuri was extending out the hand first, then Yuuri wanted to show that he was ready to grasp it.

 

“Hmph, I told you that I’m going to get better at you than everything, even boring crossovers and twizzles.” Yuri tugged off the other skate and thrust his feet into his sneakers, before carefully wrapping up the laces and placing the skates in his bag. He would be skating again in the afternoon, but there was no point in leaving them out, exposed to the air and possible damage. 

 

“You can turn that dancing they do in clubs into a routine,” Yuuri said thoughtfully, half-thinking about his words as he thought back to Yuri’s exhibition skate. “You obviously have a better time with those sorts of moves and working with that kind of music,” he mused, unaware that Yuri was staring at him with an open mouth. “You’d also get points for doing something original. I mean, I wouldn’t recommend the exact type of music that you used in your exhibition skate, but you could probably ask Otabek for advice, too, since he does the DJ stuff. That type of dancing is fun. I used to do some of it in college when Phichit would take me to clubs.”

 

“You were paying attention during my skate?” he demanded. “I thought you were too busy sucking face with the old man to watch what I was doing.” He muttered under his breath, almost too low for Yuuri to hear. “And when I was doing it to make sure you losers were upstaged…”

 

Yuuri blinked at that. “Did you create that without any previous run throughs?” he asked, more than a little shocked. Yuri was constantly shocking him with his insane talent and he fiddled with his skates again instead of looking at the other.  _ No wonder he thought so little of me when we first met...  _

 

Yuri stared at him as if he had lost his mind. “It wasn’t like I’d get the chance to actually run it by Lilia or Yakov,” he rolled his eyes. “I skated stuff like that before for fun, but it all really came with the music Otabek provided.” He peered down and poked Yuuri hard in the side. “Are you so lame that you never did anything like that? I  _ know _ you’re lying if you say you only did the boring routines all the time.”

 

Yuuri opened his mouth to deny it and then stopped, turning red as he remembered a routine that he and Yuuko had did as kids and how there was a video to prove it. It had been before he really started moving up in the ranks and was still sticking to the local competitions and it had just been fun to try out a new dance while skating at the same time. “Nothing like yours,” he finally said, as Yuri’s triumphant look grew. 

 

“Considering you know how to  _ breakdance _ , I bet you did some pretty cool stuff when you weren’t so scared to have fun.” He ignored Yuuri’s shocked expression and continued, sounding more uncertain now. “Does that actually happen when you get older?” he asked. “You forget how much fun it is to actually skate?”

 

Yuuri blinked at the question, taken back and thinking about the past year and how much fun he had, going all the way back to the block competitions where he didn’t have to actually  _ worry _ so much about his skating and just had fun with the up and coming skaters that were really just starting to branch out with their talents. He opened his mouth to say that he wasn’t the best person to ask, but Yuri was actually  _ trying _ and trusting him and Yuuri pushed back the anxiety that had always been the main factor in crushing his ability to really let loose. 

 

“No,” he said slowly, thinking about his words seriously. Yuri was being serious and the biting attitude had already dropped off. “I think it gets harder sometimes, if you lose sight of what made you start in the first place.” He looked over at Viktor, who had nothing but false smiled for years and who kept pushing himself, over and over to get to the top, because that was what was expected of him. “I know you think Viktor and I are gross and sappy,” he smiled a little, he had made the same scrunched up faces at Yuuko and Takashi. “But I think we helped each other out of that slump we had both fallen in. It helps when you have friends with you that share that enjoyment with you.” It was why VIktor had started skating again; because Yuuri had always found joy in it, even during his darker moments, and shared that light with Viktor. 

 

Yuri snorted at that and his gaze flicked over to Viktor, too, who was doing bunny hops when Yakov’s back was turned, as if he was seven years old all over again and learning how to skate for the first time. “Yeah, well--” he crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not like being friends or something means I’m gonna roll over for them and let them win my gold medal.” HIs gaze was positively steely as he turned it back to Yuuri. “You better not pull that shit either with Vitya. Just because you’re engaged or some shit doesn’t meant that you’re gonna let him win.”  It was obvious he still held that lingering anger over that moment when Yuuri had planned to quit all for the sake of Viktor returning back to skating. 

 

“I didn’t decide to continue skating just to lose,” Yuuri huffed and rolled his eyes. “I know I can beat him,” he gave Yuri a mischievous grin. It was much easier to tease and relax when Yuri was doing so as well. It was like Yuri was a friend already, or growing into one. “I mean, we already both beat him, right?”

 

Yuri snickered at that. “Yeah, we sure did,” he smirked. “And I’ll continue to crush his  _ and _ your records.” He hesitated again and looked off at nowhere when he asked the next question. “So you really can work something out to make sure my routine isn’t the same boring stuff that everyone does?” he asked uncertainly. “Even if you’re my rival?”

 

“I can give you some pointers and work out some routines, yeah,” Yuuri said, smiling a little. “I don’t have the same style that you have, so I know it won’t interfere with what I’ve been working on.” 

 

“Hmph, maybe when you work with me, you can learn something new, too,” Yuri snorted. “You’re not as old as baldy over there and can probably pull it off.” Yuuri was astonished at the offer and gave Yuri a quick nod in response, trying to keep the wide smile and tears tamped down so that he wouldn’t earn a spate of annoyed insults for his overreaction. 

 

It was a small start and it was almost annoying how Viktor was right in that he just had to reach out. It wasn’t that hard to understand Yuri, when you found that connecting point; he was unaware that Yuri shared the same thought.

 

From the center of the ice, Viktor caught a glimpse of the two of them, sitting side by side and exchanging quiet words instead of glares and insults and gave a happy spin that he had made it work out as well. It was going to be so much more  _ fun _ . 

  
  
  
  



End file.
